You're Failure

It has come to my attention that I am not world leader. This displeases me, and so I plan to punish you all for you're insignificant existence and failure to elect me as the new world leader. Since I am still a civilian (a superior civilian to you), I cannot enforce my power upon you, although I can offer some hurtful comments.

You are stupid and no one loves you.

You will now be crushed under my attack and feel emotionally empty and worthless. This is what happens when the true leader of the world is forced take alternative routes. I am unsure why i am still not world leader, what with all of the promises for free executions and slavery. Dying and working in my honor is the best way to live your life, so begin now! I will now go and feed my pet dinosaur.

The Benefits of Slavery

Are you sick of your 20 hour a week job? Are you sick of your pay? (when I say this I don't refer to the minimal amount, but rather the whole idea of getting paid).
This is just one of the many problems in life that I, your superior will succeed in alleviating.
From the moment I take power, I will enforce total slavery. Everyone will be lucky enough to work for me, with a minimum of 22 hour shifts, of hard labor (and not so hard labor).

Yes,yes, I hear your pleas and chants of , "We Want More" (note- when you said this i ignored the word "pay", and have interpreted it as "work"). But unfortunately, limited supply (Advanced economic crap you dumb asses wont understand) has led to the minimal 22 hours.

But don't panic, as world population drops unexpectedly after my seizure of world power, there will be an excess of working hours, and you may be lucky enough to work a whole 26 hours a day.

As you read this short article, an overwhelming joy and relief would have dominated your emotions, and hence more reason to vote for me, or for that matter, die in honor for my cause. (this death will incur as a result of violent force used if "democratic" voting doesn't work)

(You know what, I'm sick of these brackets, are you that stupid that I need to explain every word (A sound or a combination of sounds, or its representation in writing or printing, that symbolizes and communicates a meaning and may consist of a single morpheme or of a combination of morphemes)).

Next Step

In which ever way I seize power, certain principles will be enforced, by me, your superior, in order to make sure life is as good as it can be.
I will introduce certain "things" (sorry, couldn't think of a better word), that may seem foreign to you, yet, they will bring you happiness and hope.
One such "thing" is the total abolishment of a quality many of you would despise, one that when referred to brings a shiver down the spine. Yes, I'm talking about freedom. ~Shiver in Spine~
Freedom, as many of you would know is quite likely the most negative of man kinds inventions. (Interesting Fact, Jack Freedom invented freedom, CURSE HIM).

I have a simple theory to show you that freedom sucks.
If, from birth everyone was locked up in a prison, would we have crime? NO.

I bet your sitting there, nodding your head in agreement at such obvious flaws of this "freedom", but for the minority of you who disagree you have 2 options.

1- Call me and book an all expenses paid execution (note- Limited stock)
2- Find your nearest bridge.

The Future Leader of the inferior you, Mark

Remember, Stop Freedom, Stop Crime.

The Campaign Begins

So I was sitting there yesterday, thinking. The world needs a new leader, one which can do all the things anyone ever wanted, like introducing free, compulsory slavery, and similarly exciting aspects to everyone's useless existence.
So I came up with a simple solution, I could some how be voted supreme leader of the world. So I have therefore set up a campaign for my (definite) election in the year 2011. I know your sitting there thinking, a whole year, well yes, we cant rush into such significant events. I know you're excited, with the free slavery and all, but for this ingenious plan to work, you must endorse my campaign.
Please feel free to view the campaign posters, which are imaginary. Each poster, is essential to my democratic election as supreme leader of the world, and therefore have a simple, non-forceful, subtle message, which all simply translate to "Please Vote For Mark, Because he loves you".
So if your looking for something more in the future, Vote #1, Mark for supreme leader of earth. (I'm being serious, you better vote for me, don't get me started on all the things we have planned for those of you who don't vote for me.)